365 days of a dream or is it a living nightmare so real that I pinch myself and sadly, still do not wake up.
365 days of a new identity that I never wished to have and prayed fervently against. A sense of limbo and unbelonging – orphaned in my heart way too soon.
365 days of half expectancy and half reality…waiting to hear you call my name, waiting to see your face and smell your aftershave.
365 days of stumbling uncertainty in the world that you navigated sith such ease and which you were supposed to walk me through.
365 days of depicting strength and composure, responsibility and understanding.
365 days of stifled screams and wandering thoughts, specific deja-vus and emptiness.
365 days of excruciating pain and loss
365 days of unfulfilled and unrealised grief knowing that there will be many more 365 days like these ahead.
365 days of answerless questions
365 days of life without you.
i miss you papa…it doesn’t hurt any less, and it still isnt easy. but im trying to manage and trying to deal and allowing myself to feel the pain and in the sting remember that its because I loved you and was loved by you that it hurts like this.
RIP James Mungai Gachui -25 March 1948 – 16 Dec 2010
